Jane : “Did you pick up the Milk and Eggs from the IGA”
Me: “No, I’m far to gruesome to go shopping at the moment”
Jane: “I need you to be positive !”
Me: “Oh I am certain, I am absolutely positive I am too disgusting to go to the shops right now.”
I think from her reaction, that may not have been what she meant…
Joking aside, it’s a real problem…
Some of you may be relieved and even surprised that I no longer worry about what I look like. I really don’t, because I just know it’s a hideous mess, a gruesome mish mash of lard, hair, and nail polish assembled into something that vaguely resembles human.