If there is one thing that I can remember doing for my entire life, apart from Breathing and Eating, it is comparing myself to others..

In these  comparisons, I’m never favoured. I am harder on myself than I ever could be to anybody else.  This habit is, I am almost sure a bi product of growing up the youngest in a family that was driven to  endless competitiveness by well meaning, but perhaps misguided parents. 

“Why can’t you be more like your brothers ?” Is a phrase I heard so often, that I can still hear it with remarkable clarity today. Spoken by my parents in perfect unison, and burned into my psyche because there is no screen saver for the mind…I can’t be more like my Brothers because I am not my Brothers….I can’t be more like the boy down the road who gets straight “A”s, because I am not the boy down the road..They didn’t see the pattern, but the comparisons continued. I was urged to compare, and the habit stuck…

Social Media has not helped at all. For many people, their Social Media feeds represent a perfectly manicured existence, sweet cherished moments, that are cherry picked from the cacophony of Twenty First Century life. These soft focused moments are then given a quick coat of gloss and projected at each other in a display of blissful harmony. “#Life is good” These shining moments of perfection cause me to conclude that my own personal failings as an overweight, Transgender misfit must cause immense embarrassment to the people in my social circle.

This blog is an antidote to that cycle.  It is my Social Media, raw and visceral. 

And so, back to the start, If there is one thing I wish I could stop tonight, it is my habit of comparison. I am me, the only me, and like everyone else on this amazing planet I am beyond comparison to anyone else…